Anger management is a way to reduce the impacts that anger has on you. Anger is a natural reaction and feeling, so you can’t ever eradicate it completely. But you can learn to manage it better.
Managing your anger doesn't mean not getting angry at all. Instead, it involves learning how to identify, cope with, and expressing your anger in healthy and productive ways. Anger management is a skill that everyone must adopt. Even if you think you have your anger under control, there’s always a scope for improvement.
Anger is a strong feeling. It’s a common and healthy emotion that gets invoked when you are frustrated, hurt, annoyed, hopeless, or helpless. It could be the outcome of something that occurs to you, something someone said or did against your wish or something you remember. Anger can heal or hurt you, depending on how you react to it. If you can express the reason behind your anger without hurting someone else, it is better. It’s helpful when we need to protect ourselves, and it can motivate us to change things. But it can also make you beat out in ways that you shouldn’t.
Anger management involves a variety of skills that can help with identifying the signs of anger and handling triggers positively. It requires a person to identify anger at an early stage and to express their needs while remaining peaceful and in power.
Managing anger does not involve maintaining it in or avoiding associated feelings. Coping with anger is an earned skill nearly anyone can learn to control feelings with time, persistence, and commitment.
Ready to get your anger under control? Start by learning these skills of anger management.
Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's simple to say something you'll later repent. Take a few minutes to collect your thoughts before saying anything and allow others involved in the state to do the same.
Once you're calm, express your feelings in a subtle & Assertive way.
As soon as you're thinking precisely, express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to dominate them.
Find feasible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you angry, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's untidy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the night or allow you to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.
Stick with the 'I' statement
To avoid criticizing or playing the blame game, which might only increase tension, use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be polite and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do any cleaning."
Don't hold a grudge
Forgiveness is an important tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to push out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your distress or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who offended you, you might both learn from the situation and grow your relationship.
Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse stress. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt emotions and make things serious.
Practice relaxation skills
When your anger flashes, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy", or "just chill". You might also listen to music, write in a journal, step outside or do a few yoga poses whatever it takes to promote relaxation.
Seeking Help
If anger has been causing problems in your life and you’re striving to tame your temper on your own, you might require to seek expert help. Some mental health difficulties can be linked to anger management issues.
For example, Depressive disorders can cause anger and may be more difficult to manage. It's important to reveal any mental health issues that could prevent your ability to manage anger.
Start by talking to a mental wellness coach about your mood and behavior. Your coach will make sure you don’t have any physical health issues that are adding to the problem. Depending on your intentions and practice needs, therapy may include personal sessions as well as anger management sessions.
For many people, angry outbreaks serve a mission. Yelling at someone may get them to comply with your necessities. But while the aggressive act may get your wants met in the short term, there are long-term outcomes. Your words might cause lasting damage to the bond or even lead to its demise.
If you’ve been using your anger as a device, you may serve from learning better tactics, such as seeking advice or speaking up in a positive, but not offensive, manner. Talk to your coach about your anger issues if you want to know more about how to learn the skill of anger management.
If you need help to deal with anger management issues, contact Sangeeta Pattanaik to review your situation and help you Overcome your situation.
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