Boundaries explain who you are in a relationship. Mainly, what you are and what you are not. The boundaries built in a relationship are meant to reveal where you end and someone else starts.
Boundaries are all around us. Their idea is to help us maintain a well-balanced and functional society. This is necessary because everyone is different and as usual, our needs, wants, and habits don’t line up.
Many people don't like the concept of setting boundaries in relationships, it seems to be a bad one or something unnecessary. The reason why they think boundaries in relationships are bad is that they think they keep people disconnected. However, this theory is very wrong.
On the contrary, it is important to have your boundaries in a relationship to have a loving and healthy relationship. The truth is that a relationship cannot be healthy if clear boundaries are not set and respected.
In a very simple way, boundaries show us where one thing ends and another begins. In a relationship, a boundary can take any form of a limit you set about what you are comfortable with and how you would prefer to be handled by others.
Healthy boundaries in relationships also mean taking responsibility for your feelings and lives. It also means being comfortable to not take responsibility for another person’s feelings and activities.
Also, setting boundaries helps to assure that a relationship is commonly relevant, respectful, and caring. Thus, healthy boundaries encourage partners to take each other’s feelings into account, seek consent from each other, and show gratitude.
Setting healthy boundaries is also a great way to respect your partner’s activities as well as their different ideas and views.
One of the benefits of setting healthy boundaries in relationships is the elimination of blames. The trend for one partner to blame the other is reduced. This is because boundaries leave no place for the deflection of the ownership of a problem.
The set boundaries support each partner to take responsibility for their part in any dispute, conflict, or wrong approach. This way, resolving conflicts becomes a lot easier for the partners.
So, the establishment and respect for personal boundaries in a relationship form good support for the development of strong emotional affection between partners.
How to set healthy boundaries effectively?
Setting boundaries will ultimately help reduce stress and assure that you have a healthy bond with your partner.
Here are 5 tips for setting healthy boundaries in your relationship.
Understand boundaries are healthy for your relationship.
Boundaries are an essential element of healthy relationships because they help to keep a balance between you and your partner. They also help reduce conflict, because they set an example of what you both expect from each other. Having boundaries can bring you closer to your partner because they keep open communication.
Be honest about what you need:
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Conversing openly is an important part of every healthy relationship. When discussing boundaries with your partner, being honest about what you are comfortable with or not comfortable with will help in knowing what you expect from them. You could even write down your expectations so it will be easy while sharing them with your partner.
Indicate When You Need Space
This tip is particularly relevant at the moment. If you’re spending a lot of time together mostly, be sure to interact with each other when you need time alone. It’s just as important to set aside time for yourself as it is to have quality time with the person you admire.
Listen to What Your Partner Needs
Since you expect your partner to notice your boundaries, it’s also important to thoroughly listen to their needs as well. Relationships are a two-way road, so you will need to listen to the boundaries they want to set and discuss those as well. Remember, that in a relationship, you should be able to say anything, but the way you say it matters a lot. So, be a good listener when your partner is expressing.
Communicate With Respect
Healthy relationships demand respect from both sides. The best way to communicate your boundaries is with understanding, compassion, and respect for each other’s expectations. Having respect each time you communicate will eventually make your relationship healthier and stronger.
While setting out the boundaries for oneself never forget to explain the limitation of each partner’s boundaries in a clear-cut way.
For example, what exactly does cheating as a boundary breach mean? Is cheating just about the physical connection, or is it about going on a date with the opposite sex? Does it involve sharing personal secrets with others, watching porn, or even fantasizing about someone else?
While communicating your boundaries in a relationship, try to be open to listening to how the boundaries affect your partner. Also try to explain the issue as openly as possible so that both of you feel heard, valued, and cared for.
In review, healthy boundaries need to have an empathetic mind and heart. Setting boundaries is never about being mean to other people and it is not self-centered. Rather, it is about being present and sensible to others while not overlooking our own wants and desires.
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