We all have been listening since our childhood whenever we hear ‘my man’, ‘man of words’, ‘responsible man’ or a ‘family man’, all we get an idea at first sight that man is considered as an epitome of handling responsibilities. No matter a world may change from here & there but a man is expected to never back off from his responsibilities. In cases where a family is led by a woman, she is also deliberately called ‘the man of the house. This overpowers the situation for men. But with more power comes great responsibilities. As the situation turns challenging & progressing, they are expected to be more powerful & stronger than before. Sometimes, they manage to be that powerful while sometimes they fail to make it after all they are also humans & they too have emotions.
Movies & society have set a benchmark for every man like - “Mard ko dard nahi hota (Men don’t feel pain)” or “ Ladke kabhi nahi rote (Boys don’t cry)”. It became so easy to set that benchmark but what about the scar behind those clothes which they receive due to failed careers, bad relationships, abuse, or assault. Somewhere a generation made sure about a thing that there exists nothing like mental health because men don’t have emotions or any emotions to express while women's emotions or mental health were suppressed or ignored subsequently. With changing times, both men & women took their first step forward to speak, share & talk about mental health. Change is coming with time. Women’s mental health has been given due importance with time-based on the changes they go through in their lifestyle personally & socially. While with men, mental health is just related to depression or a failed relationship. There is a lot more beyond what went unnoticed around you only.
Yes, it’s true. We have our younger & elder brothers around us with whom we stay day & night. We never give a thought if they’re going through anything they need to talk about. Sometimes, people just ignore their issues by saying - ‘this is nothing, be strong & ignore’. This is so easy for someone to speak but at the same time so tough to implement. He needs a guide who can save him come out of it successfully. And there is no particular age group that might be facing these mental health struggles. Men of any age can be a victim of mental health struggles. You still doubt - let’s talk about students. Be it school-going or college-going boys, they come across various intercomparisons among each other in terms of height, weight, looks, appearance, physique, strength, or wisdom. It can be either of them or any of them. A boy with superior qualities in any of these tries to make fun of or bully the one who’s less in it. Some try to fight with it while some get embarrassed with their deficiencies which makes them start hating themselves. As they start hating themselves they start losing confidence in everything including the things they can excel in. These are basic struggles almost every boy has experienced in their childhood to teenage.
When they move forward, post completing their education they are expected to get a job or start working as early as possible. If they fail or delay in doing so, they are taunted with harsh words with a view that they start working next time before they get hurt again. Those harsh words are sometimes not just limited to their casual nature towards their lifestyle but often they are put up as a question on their character. Eventually, they end up either settling down with a bad job or being ignorant after being affected mentally. When it comes to work-life or a workspace, the scenario is almost an upgraded version of what it was in schools & colleges. In a workspace, no matter if it’s a job or a business a man goes through different challenges like getting compared with peers/colleagues, getting scolded/insulted by seniors among the entire team/office, or a fear of getting fired from work or business getting shut. Many people just continue a bad job or business just to save their family.
In case a man fails there, often the family members start biting the man with harsh words again without understanding what he was/have been going through. Often a man’s wings of ambition towards pursuing their dream job or role get cut/destroyed due to family needs or responsibilities. As he is expected to take care of the family, sometimes intentionally & sometimes out of situation demands he is made to forget his ambitions. We think it’s not a big deal but the person who suffers knows the pain. It goes up gradually further when a man is rejected outright or doesn’t receive the necessary love from his partner or kids or parents. Every stage has a situation that disturbs mental peace for a long time.
This doesn’t mean that there is no solution to it. A small step at every point can help a man come out of it stronger than before.
When your child/younger brother tries to share about any problems, listen to them very carefully. Sometimes, they might hesitate to share their problems with you on the first go. Give them some time and listen to their problems.
Talk with your child/ younger brother like a friend. Let them speak about their concerns. Sometimes, they might be going through some serious abuses or assaults you might be unaware of.
The same is similar with men. Whenever you talk to any of your male friends if they share anything which is affecting or bothering them by any means. Try to understand and help them in coming up with the solution.
In some cases, a boy comes across different quarrels in childhood. It could be between parents or family members. Speak to your child about the problem, let them know, and understand the situation because we can't expect the wisdom of taking the right decisions from them until we involve them in every aspect of the decision-making process.
Often men don't open up with their emotions so easily. They only come out where they feel trusted, understood, and not judged at all. Once they feel that zone, they will open up their heart like a child.
You might be surprised why there has been so much focus on a boy rather than a man. It's because that's where the first initial shock of mental health is experienced. If that is taken due care of in the beginning, it makes a boy live a stressful free mentally happy life. Else ignorance just keeps increasing troubles. If you are in distress and need immediate help or are feeling like going out of the track, please feel free to contact ReLive-Because You Matter for further assistance.
Do comment in what all ways you can see meaning to your life and don’t forget to share it and follow me on Instagram & Facebook - @relivewithsangeeta & ReLive-Because You Matter
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