When things go wrong, it’s easy to feel as if every bad thing happens to you. Suddenly, it’s you versus the world, and you’re on a never-ending losing streak.
I’ve certainly had my good piece of times like this, where I couldn’t help but questioned why me? Do I deserve this? It felt like everything and everyone was out to notice me, and it was more peaceful to place the blame for my unfortunate fate on others, rather than own up to my faults.
What is Victim Mentality?
This kind of mindset deflects liability for your actions and viewing yourself as a victim of the actions of others, known as “victim mentality.” Victim mentality is an acquired personality feature that can have serious negative outcomes.
Source: REDEFINEDNARRATIVE.COM
If you or a close one of yours is coping with a victim mentality, here are ways to overcome it.
Identify actionable ways to make improvements
The first step in taking real control of your life is identifying actionable ways to improve your situation. Have you or a friend been tossing about how you’ll never find a job? Instead of complaining to anyone, make a list of ways you can make accessible, real changes. For Example, Try to upload your CV to various job portals or go for an interview. Take action to see your progress.
Manage your Mood
When you feel great, you do great. When you’re focused on what you have, you have more confidence and passion in going after what you want.
A study by Dr. Martin Seligman noted that there are three proven methods of enhancing our emotions. The first is following mindfulness, meditating, or praying.
The other two methods are practicing gratitude and helping others. If you want to feel better, there is no better way than focusing on the good and assertive things in your life. Serving others also strengthens and empowers us. There may not be a more satisfying feeling than knowing you can help others and then observing that result when you do so.
Find a Victor’s Mantra
For many people, mantras do miracles. By realizing that they’re acting like a victim, then they’re able to motivate and allow themselves through self-talk. The solution is shifting of mindset towards positive thinking to call yourself out at the moment you start playing the victim game.
I love the last line of the famous poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley: “I am the master of my destiny, I am the captain of my soul.”
Reframe your Story
You have the authority to change your own story. Every time you feel like complaining about something or someone else for your difficulties, take a moment to flip the scenario and focus on things you can change. Are you struggling financially and disappointed with friends that keep inviting you to fancy dinners? What can you do to appreciate your friends while making lifestyle shifts to improve your possibilities?
Indulge yourself with kindness
Take time to identify the role you play in creating or contributing to your situations. You can be sorry to yourself, and treat yourself to something that makes you feel happy like a small walk, a hot bath, or cooking your favorite dinner. “When you’re criticizing the world and life for your pain and suffering, you’re not treating yourself to feel better. By claiming the victim part, you are increasing your pain.
At the end of the day, it’s important to remember coping with a victim mentality is not a tough job or a life sentence. With little care and help from a mental health professional, you or anyone around you can set free from these negative thinking patterns.
The Bottom Line
The first step to overcome your victim mentality is to realize you’re suffering from it. Once you understand this, you can take an effective role in overcoming it. While doing so, it’s important to stay kind to yourself and don’t make yourself a victim for believing like a victim. There are some things that you can manage in life, and that’s how you react and interact. When it comes to others, you cannot handle what they do, but you can control how you respond. By practicing self-love, acceptance, self-reflection, and gratitude, you can work towards feeling confident and taking responsibility for your own life and relations.
Do comment in what all ways you can see meaning to your life and don’t forget to share it and follow me on Instagram & Facebook - @relivewithsangeeta & ReLive-Because You Matter